Why don't you and me get hitched like ten years from now?
by nomuhikaru
Summary: A series of random lives of a married couple.


Above a pair of teacups hover about some steam as if dancing in slow motion, where these teacups are placed on tabletop of the _kotatsu _side by side with a teapot and two plates of baumkuchen. One of the teacups has yet to be consumed. Breeze of low air from the open windows entering in the living room wafts the unconsumed tea's steam, but it will have to wait even if the warmth completely escaped. She carries the teapot's handle to pour some into the half-emptied teacup, puffing out a scent of mint from spout simultaneously. Refilled, she puts back the teapot then drinks the tea with gentle, careful blows. She sighs in relief after taking some sips, unconsciously she stares at her reflection on the television's shut screen. Himeko still looks the same except for some body parts which had to inevitably mature as time passes by. She shifts her stare to the open windows where she can watch the fluffy-looking clouds across the blue sky while sitting on the carpet where her legs are under the _kotatsu. _It became a habit of her to watch the slow movements of clouds floating above the city whenever she's alone.

Minutes later, Himeko hears a creak of door being pushed open along with the awaited familiar echoes of laughter and taps of feet by the entrance. Himeko pulls herself out from the _kotatsu _and stretches her legs, strides out of the living room towards the entrance way to receive the two children's greetings with a kiss on the both sides of her cheeks—where she has to kneel on the floor so the two kids could lean their lips on hers. Their names are Yuushisuke (勇士助, a boy) and Hanako (花 子, a girl.) Yuushisuke is a year older than Hanako and both just entered kindergarten today. Meanwhile, in front of the door is a man, wearing the red Popcap with paired horns and a goggles around it, who is currently taking off his sandals while his freehand is stretched against the wall to support his balance. Bossun yells, catching his breath, "_Ta… Tadaima!_"

"_Okaerinasai~_" Himeko giggles. She already has a gist of picture just by watching Bossun's weary face. Nonetheless, she still asks Yuushisuke and Hanako about their first day of school.

"It was so fun! So fun!"

Bossun's reaction contradicts the "fun" thingy part they're exclaiming. It'll be problematic, really, if he left those two brats in school, especially in their first day, after noticing his Yuushisuke and Hanako were making nervous expressions on their sits. An ominous atmosphere convinced him to stay just like the other parents who perspire heavily than their own children. Yuushisuke and Hanako are mini versions of Bossun and a black-haired Himeko, though Hanako has the sharpest tongue among the family and who knows from whom did she inherit such attitude. Yuushisuke, on the other hand, can adapt quickly in any environment but is a daredevil. Definitely, papa Bossun didn't want to hear immediate cries from anyone if ever he steps out of the classroom.

Hanako starts her babyish speech-defect narration. "Papa joined our shwong (song) in ja (the) cwash (class) where we should jwance (dance) and hop like a wabbit (rabbit)! We were like 'hyu! hyu!' when it's his chwurn (turn) but we're all jishapponted (disappointed) when he jumped like a kangaroo wij (with) embwarrashed (embarrassed) face!"

"Hahahaha! I rolled on the floor when he did it!" Yuushisuke learned proper pronunciation in advance than Hanako.

As waterfalls in Bossun's face as he cries; even a pair of mucus is hanging in his nose. "How could you hurt papa's feelings!? I'M YOUR PAPA HERE, YOU KNOW!? YOU SHOULD HAVE AT LEAST KEEP YOUR MOUTH ZIP WHILE I'M STILL HERE, YOU KNOW!? Huhuhu… I just did what you told me so you will participate peacefully in the class!"

Instead of comforting, Hanako teases her papa he's such a crybaby—more of a crybaby than Yuushisuke. The latter kid interrupts, against to Hanako's last statement by defending himself he's not a crybaby (now pouting and is about to cry.) Hanako grabs the chance to attack multiple hits of annoyance against his _oniichan _and runs towards the living room, so Yuushisuke chases her.

Now the two parents are alone along the entrance way, Himeko stands up and walks towards Bossun's direction. He wipes his tears and gives his wife a dismayed countenance, gesturing a hunched up posture whenever he fails to discipline his kids about respecting their own papa. Himeko had memorized these kinds of situations and one of the solutions is to give his husband a gentle pat on his head. From dismay turns to his infamous half-assed face (a nervous/fluttery feeling where his pouty lips thicken and eyelashes become quite curly while his sparkly eyes looking away in a state of having blush strokes on cheeks.) He starts imagining Himeko doing some cheesy things making his heartbeat skips—it really makes him happy to receive comfort from his wife—not until Himeko cuts off his short fantasy when she reminds him of Pelollipop candies she asked him to buy for her on the way home.

Liver sashimi, soft roe, and blue cheese—Himeko pushes herself off the ground the moment she receives the "flavors of the day." Himeko just acts all charming for Pellolipops and not for his attention-seeker husband. Bossun turns oTL in one corner surrounded by depressing dark aura and complaining the author of this fanfiction is kinda lame for just using emoji rather than properly narrate his dramatic performance on how he knelt down like he's in some kind of tragic drama. It really pains in the ass, Himeko thinks, to watch her childish Bossun acting sensitive just to get her sympathy. No wonder she feels having troubles as if she needs to watch over three children instead of just two. All she could do is to sigh and curve a smile on her face.

"Oi, Bossun," Himeko taps Bossun's back (who's still in the verge between reality and tragic drama.) "We still have tea and baumkuchen in the living room, right? I was waiting for you to come home so we could continue eating our snacks together."

_Come home_ is the phrase that boosts Bossun to rise up from depression. A tint of blush covers his happiness when Himeko clasps her hand to him, pulling his arm towards the living room. Out of nowhere, she reminisces: it was Switch who gave them the first gift even before the wedding day—a pair of teacups. After all, if it wasn't Bossun in front of her, she'd rather not marry anyone (probably), Himeko thinks.

In the end, Bossun outrages after finding Yushisuke and Hanako already stuffed up his baumkuchen share into their mouths.

**Family photo**

Himeko leaves the kitchen in haste when she hears a sob coming from the living room—it's Yuushisuke rolling on the floor while crying. Himeko turns to Hanako (who is currently watching on his _oniichan's_ tantrum as if being entertained) and accuses the little girl for causing her _oniichan_ cry. Hanako retorts she's not at fault her stupid _oniichan_ is a crybaby, and Himeko even didn't miss the grin as the last gesture of this bratty little girl. It wasn't supposed to be called for, but the _Onihime_ aura is coming out from Himeko little by little, like a _jinchuriki_ who's gradually being taken over according to the number of tails appearing. And Hanako doesn't want to know what will happen next if it keeps up, so she apologizes to her mama; even Yuushisuke forces himself to stop crying after witnessing the _Onihime_ aura.

"Yuushi-chan, tell me why you're crying."

Yuushisuke pokes his both fingers together while shyly looking down. "We looked through the photo albums and saw a misplaced photo of you, me and…"

"And?"

"A-and… and…"

"And Switch-ojisan!" Hanako interrupts.

Recalling her memories, Himeko's mind goes blank, if there was a history of taking a photograph of herself and Yuushisuke together with Switch. As long as taking photos is concerned, Bossun would always pop up in every photo in any way. And why did Yuushisuke cry over a trivial matter, she asks. Stupefaction paints Himeko's face as Yuushisuke shows an old photograph—convinced by Hanako's statement he's the small kid between Himeko and the moustached Switch-ojisan, who Hanako claims her _oniichan's_ real papa, making Bossun being only his step-papa.

"_AKAN! AKAN!_ ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE YOUR MAMA A SLUTTY BITCH!?"

With watery eyes and shaky voice, Yuushisuke mumbles. "B-But I don't want anyone else to be my papa. I want my papa Bossun!"

Sparkles appear around Himeko, thinking she's the luckiest mother to have cute kids who have the exact faces of their parents when they were also once a kid, especially imagining a crying _kawaii_ Bossun makes her blood rush. How could Yuushisuke even think he's not Bossun's son when they have the same face and even the same haircut!? But she soon snaps in reality to explain the misunderstanding before her reputation as a faithful woman crumbles.

It's true it was Himeko and the moustached Switch on the both sides of a three-year-old kid in the photo. Except the three-year-old kid wasn't Yuushisuke but Bossun who shrank to a three-year-old kid after drinking a bottle of mistakenly Loca-cola, only to find out the content was never a carbonated drink to begin with but Chuu-san's chemical experiment. She also insists she has no feelings at all for Swith aside from being a reliable club-mate/friend. In fact, it was Switch who helped her and Bossun's relationship progress from stupid friends to stupid lovers. If Switch wasn't there, she wouldn't have the courage to tell Bossun her feelings to him. And same as Bossun who's such a thickhead to realize he was actually having lovesick troubles towards Himeko. Somewhere along the conversation, they even came up to a conclusion if it wasn't for Switch, there wouldn't be Yuushisuke and Hanako in this world. Guilt crawls within and ask themselves why'd they even let a tinge of malice enter their small minds against their Switch-ojisan. They even promise the next time Switch-ojisan would visit they'll greet him with lovely cheer for doubting his kind intentions for the family.

"Tadaima~"

They hear Bossun just arrives from work. In the living room, Himeko and the kids can hear Bossun muttering to someone. Bossun appears shortly in front of the living room and shows a man with a strapped laptop hanging in front (without the spectacles.)

'_Konbanwa minna-chan _(^o^)/ _Hisashiburi, hisashiburi! _*lol*' says the electronic synthesizer in a high pitched voice from the laptop as he taps his fingers on the keyboard, in poker face.

Yuushisuke and Hanako's eyes are all teary. They jump on Switch to give him hugs. "_Okaeri, _Switch-ojisan!"

Switch taps, 'Ohohoho~ What an overwhelming welcome there! (⋏)'

"Whoa, I'm so impressed my kids give care to our _ojisan_ here, they even ignored their own papa. I'M ALSO HERE FOR YOUR INFORMATION! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WELCOME YOUR HARD WORKING PAPA! OIII!" As always, Himeko comes to Bossun to comfort the sulking husband.

'Because of this heart-warming welcome, I'll give you a present!" Switch types. He brings out two gachapon-sized figures and hand over to Yuushisuke and Hanako. 'Ta-da! _Futari wa Nervous Generation X_ in gachapon version! I already have these in my collection so go on and thank me later *hyu! hyu!* ⋆*:.˳.0(≧▽≦)0.˳.:*⋆ *hyu! hyu!*'

Bossun regains his composure and retorts back with Himeko, at the same time. "Don't give my children some adult stuff!"

'Adult stuff what? They're not adult-ish at all, FYI."

"NOT ADULT-ISH!?" Himeko outrages. "It's suspicious enough just by taking a look at the title! What does _Generation X _mean!? That _X _is really bothering me, you see!? And let me remind you, you already showed us an episode of your _Nervous Series _once and it's really adult-ish!"

'That _Generation X _implies to the tenth generation of the _Nervous Series _as the new main characters who are now teenagers FYI! It tackles younger viewers now FYI!'

"Then the new main characters are now pregnant teenagers!? _Akan! _That's even more dangerous!"

Hanako and Yuushisuke make a bored face. Hanako still holds one of the figures, saying stuff like it's pain in the ass to receive such dull present. While the other toy was left on the ground; Yuushisuke is crossing above the backrest's sofa, like crossing on a tightrope.

"They're not interested at all!"

A vein throb appears above Swtich's head. 'YOU INSOLENT BRATS!'

"Yuushi-chan got so bored he just performs a death-defying stunt! I just can't help but to give my sympathy to Switch!"

"OI LITTLE MAN ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A STUNTMAN OR SOMETHING!? You might fall, you know!?" Bossun leaves him no choice but to carry Yuushisuke after not listening at all.

Himeko almost jumps when she remembers their dinner is waiting. Walking to the dining room, Switch behind follows Bossun (who's carrying Yuushisuke.)

"Bossun…" Switch whose real name is Kazuyoshi, mutters with his own voice and smiles. "Thank you."

Bossun had already memorized: his best friend talks to his real voice whenever he's overjoyed. "Don't mind, don't mind. You're part of the family anyway!"

There, an old photograph is left on the floor—Himeko, three-year old Bossun, and moustached Switch of SKET Dan during their second year in Kaimei Academy.

**Mama and sensei**

Too dusty, too narrow—a room where everyone in the house forgot to visit for years until Yuushisuke and Hanako stumble upon while playing cops and robbers. Hanako gets attracted to a long blue hooked stick and places it over her shoulder in a ready-to-fire position targeting Yuushisuke. The latter hides behind an untidy heaped of boxes, unconsciously bumping onto the other box beside him. He gives it a glance and sees a familiar cap. He holds it to look closely, ignoring Hanako's strange sounds of her imaginary bazooka.

"It's papa Bossun's cap!"

Hanako confirms it, still holding the long stick around her arms. "Whoa! Itch shmall! (It's small!)"

Yuushisuke wears the small version of knitted Popcap. His _imouto_ gives him dazzling eyes—leaving an impression she's really seeing their papa Bossun in Yuushisuke. Soon they decide to show Himeko their discovery of some amazing stuff from the long lost storage room.

"Whoa! It's mini Bossun!"

Himeko starts taking pictures of Yuushisuke through her cellphone while Hanako tries to photo bomb in every possible angle. While Himeko scans the pictures, the long blue stick Hanako embraces catches her attention. The word FLAGRANCE is labelled on the stick—it's _Kunpuumaru_, Himeko's lifelong partner in her battles. She grabs it away from Hanako and scolds her not to use it against her _oniichan_, although Hanako complains to give back her imaginary bazooka to defeat Yuushisuke.

The bazooka topic changes to doubts: why the person in front of them is the only blonde in the family, Hanako questions Himeko. "You mush (must) be an alien and kwidnapped (kidnapped) my mama-Hime! Where's your Pwolice Bwox (Police Box)!? Gwive (give) back my mama-Hime!"

"You're too hooked into sci-fi you already doubt your own mother! And how can a four-year-old child know about kidnapping!?"

"Now that I think about it," Yuushisuke declares. "why is mama-Hime always at home when papa Bossun often just appears at night?"

The topic now alters to Bossun being the alien. Before Hanako could suspect they're family's origins come from an alien descend, Himeko tries her best to explain the roles of papa Bossun and herself. Yuushisuke adds more questions like, why don't they try switching roles. In retrospect, Himeko reveals she was a Modern Japanese Teacher from high school for six years until she got finally married to Bossun. It was her decision to resign from work when she got pregnant to Yuushisuke, in spite of Bossun's preparedness to volunteer to quit his job in her stead so she could continue living with her dream, not because he's unhappy with his job, he's just too eager to take the role of being the househusband even now and then.

"So, mama-Hime is the _Great Teacher Onizuka!_" Yuushisuke blurts out.

A sweat drop appears above Himeko's head, asking herself how her children could be eccentrically fascinated by such dramas and manga in such age, when she herself wasn't even born yet when the mysteries of the Police Box started, or even bothering to check who the hell is the great teacher her former students were talking about. The two children catch her flying thoughts and insist on giving them some piece of demonstration on how she taught her class back then—transforming into some kind of challenge to determine if their mama-Hime is way better than their teacher in the school.

Bossun had just finished playing the game Switch recommended and now going down the stairs in a stooping stance after draining his free time in the bedroom. "Himeko~" Until he reaches the ground floor, no one replies back to him. He just follows the vague noises coming from the living room. "Oi I'm kinda hungry, is the lunch ready—"

He sees Himeko surrounded by the _Onihime_ aura while holding her _Kunpuumaru _and tapping the end side of the blue hockey stick on the palm of her freehand, looking down at Yuushisuke and Hanako who are having a sweaty hard time to do push-ups with their small bodies while wearing traumatic expressions on their faces.

"O-ONIZUKA-SENSEI!"

**Bossun's day-off**

"Yu… Yusuke…" With her feeble voice she calls his name between the gasps. The shade of blush on her pale cheeks is becoming distinct as the heat in her body crawls everywhere, second to second, especially welcoming the pleasure of his palm caressing her cheek.

"Himeko…" He whispers back.

Her head twitches, still muttering his name with her eyes closed. "P-Please... Yusuke… s-stop…"

"Himeko, you should just obey me so you won't get hurt any further."

"B-But…"

Truth be told, Himeko's favourite spot is sitting by the _kotatsu_ in the living room. Throughout the years since she moved in with Bossun, it became the most comforting resting place for her—not to mention the gentle heat it produces underneath when winter season comes. Except winter season is far yet to come. But Bossun never imagine she loves it too much she won't let the lower half of her body be separated from the _kotatsu_ even if he puts all out his strength to pull her away to the bedroom. She's still lying down. He tries to convince her cold will get worsen if she still resists.

She still resists.

Bossun standing erect in crossed-arms could now only see her head sideways while the rest is covered with the hanging quilt of the _kotatsu. _"Oi, Himeko."

"Just leave me alone."

"I already cancelled my meet up with Switch. So I won't leave. And I can't leave you in that state!"

"Sorry Bossun… I'm such a pain in the ass…"

On a side thought, Bossun prefers Himeko to call him by his real name… and soon trashes the idea to get back to the real issue. He sits beside her and sighs. "How can I tell my sick wife she's 'such a pain in the ass' when it's my responsibility to take care of my family? You're my priority now. Yuushi-chan and Hanako-chan, too, of course. You dummy." He removes the wrapping of a cloth strip of menthol gel to stick it against Himeko's forehead. "There you go."

She thanks him weakly.

Along the street, both Bossun's hands are occupied with small hands on opposite sides—Yuushisuke and Hanako don't understand why they would have to come along with their papa Bossun. In such young age, they both stand on their principles (hopefully they could understand the term) and one of them is not to break promises—though it's just within their nature to be forgetful when their fantasy realm overcomes their sanity. And Bossun doesn't want to imagine such fantasies causing him breakdown in panic if he left these two alone with Himeko.

"Oi, Yuushi-chan,"

The small boy beside him upturns his head and responses to papa Bossun.

"You like my Popcap badly, right? My bad it's still too big for you." Bossun chuckles. "You're elder than Hanako and you're the mini Bossun… What I'm saying is you should always stand for your sister to protect her."

Yuushisuke keeps staring up at him with an awe look.

"Then when you're big enough, you can have my Popcap. But for the meantime, just use the small version one."

In such young age, Yuushisuke feels an unclear heavy sensation with a speck of pride, like entering an eternal contract that will make him a hero someday.

The pitch black vision is the lapse in Himeko's senses. The hazy spectrum across the living room, however, is the time her senses slowly regaining from rest. And the clear vision of noon is the world waiting for her where Bossun awaits her comeback, who's sitting by her side and just done checking the thermometer. "Bossun…"

"Good, you're awake." Beside him lies a plastic bag labelled with the name of the near convenience store. "Besides from medicine, I also bought you a Pellolipop. It's durian-flavored."

Himeko grins and gives him a thumbs-up sign. In a very low voice she jests, "You're a reliable comrade" and ends it with a blink.

"Who the hell is your comrade? Oi your husband here is right in front of you who feels like wanting to beat the crap out of Mr. comrade. Have your brains been scrambled up when we were away? Wait, are you still my wife!? You're not Himeko, are you!?"

"You're too loud Bossun! A sick person here is trying to rest, you really have zero delicacy!" Himeko stirs completely, pulling herself up to meet the tabletop of the _kotatsu _where a bowl of porridge and a spoon are laid upon. Her glum tone turns glee. "But you know, my dream just now was really interesting-"

"Shuddup." Bossun deadpans, he knows Himeko's boring dream thoughts will never end once she started. "You just eat your food so you can take your medicine."

Bossun, still beside her, explores the plastic bag to bring out handfuls packages of tablets almost overflowing in his hands then shows it to Himeko, whose brows arch in confusion before scooping the porridge.

"Why too many!? Are you expecting me to take all these!? It's overdosage!"

"W-Well you see," While he's trying to explain with a shaky voice, his face curves another half-assed expression again. "I called Tsubaki a while ago so he can give me directions on what to do even though I usually know what to do! I thought yours is a different case so I can't really help but panic!" At last he breaks down to tears. "DID YOU KNOW I WAS SO DISTRESSED, DAMN YOU!"

Himeko just smiles as she watches Bossun's process of wiping his tears. She waits. Patiently. His moan dwindling until he ends his cry with a sniff, she lightly grabs her t-shirt close enough to give him a kiss on his cheek.

Translation Notes:

Kotatsu - It is a kind of table that is low over an electric heater with a hanging quilt.

Tadaima - "I'm home."

Okaerinasai or Okaeri - "Welcome back."

Oniichan - "Elder brother."

Sashimi - raw sliced of anything but usually fish.

Jinchuriki - in relation to Naruto; someone who is a container of a tailed beast.

Ojisan - "Uncle."

Akan - "No good" or "No way" in Himeko's accent.

Kawaii - "Cute."

Konbanwa - "Good evening."

Minna-chan - "Everyone." Usually, it's "minna-san" but I changed it to "chan" so it'll sound cute. It's our Switch telling this anyway.

Hisashiburi - "It's been a long time."

Gachapon - capsulated toys from vending machine.

Futari wa Nervous - Switch's favorite anime series. See chapter 20. The "Generation X" is part of my imagination.

Imouto – "little sister."

Police Box - Yes, the Doctor's spaceship.

Great Teacher Onizuka - is an anime/manga; the protagonist blonde Onizuka-sensei was once a delinquent.

Sensei - "Teacher."

OMG THANKS FOR PATIENTLY REACHING HERE~ The translation notes turned out loooooong~ *ehem* BTW if you've noticed, that long title up there is Bossun's dialogue from episode 15 (or chapter 48 from the manga.) I decided to make it that because it took me forever just to give a title on this fanfic, so I thought "aww this is gonna be cute title for this fanfic" or something like that. This fanfic is inspired by a certain fanart from Pixiv and "Biscuit Dance" and I badly want Bossun and Himeko to get married already. I also wanted to add an _omake_ but I'm afraid my laziness will ruin the fanfic. I'm really sorry for the grammar issues and awkward sentences. You see, I'm the kind of writer whose creative juices get sucked by demotivation during daylight. I had to stay awake in the evening in order to end this one (I WANNA SLEEP NOW.) So I apologize again if I failed to edit this fanfic. However, if you give me reviews, comments, or constructive criticisms they will make me fly in bliss~


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